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Dec 14, 2009, 6:00pm

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moonstar
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Not So Secret Diary Of....
« Thread Started on Apr 14, 2006, 1:11am »

Warning The following is totally retarded, and not meant in offense to the Warrior's series in anyway. It is not for the politically correct and thus should be viewed by no one. It is also not finished, but feel free to comment.

Rusty/Firepaw

Day 1

Hm, keep having that dream about me catching the mouse. Realized I am the best looking cat in the neighborhood. Smudge extremely jealous.

Day 2

Still having mouse dream. Is worse than the one with Smudge chucking on my sofa, and realizing I am best looking cat in the neighborhood and telling me that he has a secret crush on me. Blech. Still haven't told him about that. Probably never will. Can't think of consequences.

Day 4

Sat on fence with Smudge today. Told him about dream. Stomped off through woods. Decided to follow.

-later-

Drat, I knew I should of learned how to track...

-even more later-

Am seriously lost. Keep smelling pervy-Clan cat stalking me. Am I that sexy that everyone follows me? If only Smudge would smell my sexiness and then come to me it so we can get out of these woods. The wood-y-ness is terrible on my complexion.

Day 5

Still lost. Of course. Pretty sure that Smudge led me in here to ruin my good looks. Ran into pervy-Clan cat. Says his name is Graypaw. Got all huffy with me at first, and then I am pretty sure he started to flirt with me. Then ‘Ms. High and Mighty?Bluestar showed up. Clan cats. Typical. They want me to ‘join them.?Kinda freaked out right there. What kinda weird cult were they? Must find out.

Day 6

Met up with Clan Culters again. Explained it was not a cult. Liers. Decided to join anyway. A cult could use a good looking cat like me. But that Graypaw is kinda creeping me out right now.

Reminder: Do not walk directly in front of Graypaw. Weird Clan Culter always tries to be ‘friendly?and sniff your butt. Not comfortable. Not friendly.

-later-

Arrived at camp. Very dodgy for a cult. No one seemed brain-washed, except for this equally handsome tom named Longtail. Started to fight. My pretty collar is gone that little (beeeeeeep). But I torn out a chunk of his ear. Go me! I am definitely the prettiest in the Cult. Give apprentice name of Firepaw for my flame-colored pelt. C’mon. Bluestar was soooo hitting on me.

-later later later-

Moment ruined when *gasp* Redtail is found to be dead. Took a look at him. Not so sexy. Definitely deserved to die. Very weeping and cuddly moment. Graypaw got a tad too close. Dustpaw especially moppy ‘cause Redtail was his ‘mentor.?More like ‘lover?the way he was crying about it. Lionheart named new deputy. More touching and happiness. Beginning to feel as though joining Cult NOT a good idea.

Day 7

Long party last night. Very hung over from eating A LOT of Spottedleaf’s cat nip. Yummm cat nip. Dustpaw cried all night, so not a wink of sleep. Awoken by Graypaw to start training. Definitely too drowsy to train. Sleep in for two minutes. Wake up. Late for training. Lionheart very P.Oed at me, but too smug to punish me. I swear, he is the most gleeful of them all. Hope he dies. And Tigerclaw too. Don’t know what his problem is...

Day 8

Ravenpaw and Dustpaw have joined forces to create the ‘Moppy Club.?Ravenpaw is terrified of Tigerclaw(I don’t blame him. He hates me for being good looking.) and Dustpaw is still sad about Redtail. Given them both cat nip to shut them up.

Day 18

Blech. Been training forever.

Day 19

Guess what? Still training. And hunting. Graypaw still hitting on me. Starting to think we are more than just friends. Have crush on Spottedleaf. Graypaw is like: “She is so out of your league.?And for once, my idiotic furball of a friend is correct. Rawr.

Day 20

Hunting today(big surprise there). Found mangy looking she-cat in the bushes. I’m thinking Hobo Cat....maybe? No, just Yellowfang. Fed the poor thing, but she ended up clawing me. Looked at reflection in water. Spoiled my good looks. Tigerclaw is now the sexiest in the Cult. He is very smug. Took Yellowfang to camp. ‘High and Mighty?assigned me Elder Duty. Hehe. This may be fun.

Update: Firepaw and Tigerclaw relationship: Not good.

Day 21

Looking after elders surprisingly fun. Fed them catnip with their pidgeon. Fun to watch. Not fun to steal from Spottedleaf. Oh well. Yellowfang still very nasty to me.

Reminder: Catnip has no effect on Yellowfang.

Day 22

No more elder duty! Go me! But...Bluestar has made me her official apprentice. Think she still doesn’t have a little-something something for me? Think again!

Update: Still not as good looking as Tigerclaw. Still smitten with it. Evil.

Day 23

Beginning to wonder if Sandpaw is a pervy-butt sniffer like Graypaw. Must find out.

Day 27

Hunting in forest today. Bumped into Smudge. Looked quite fat. Must of eaten a lot after I went away. What wanker. He and *finally* admits I am the best looking, even after my run in with Yellowfang. Go me!

Went back to camp, only to be chewed out by Tigerclaw. He saw me with Smudge. Oh well. He can shove it up his butt. Maybe Graypaw will sniff it. Go me 2x!

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